The scenario where she refused to watch a possibly 'anti' documentary and wanted to watch church-sanctioned material sounds like a red flag. Mormon decried it was all a lie, an anti mormon lie. I think a lot of people just yell run whenever this topic comes up and like you I think that's unfair.
Vh65, your marriage is a black swan. She's a shell of her former self and it breaks by heart to this day. It has just made me realize that these formulas a lot of us Mormons learn growing up about how to have a happy marriage are, well, crap. She likely hasn't had many long-term relationships and has no idea what dynamics are involved in one. I remember when my ex and I had invited friends to our house for a 4th of July dinner and had spent a lot of money and time getting ready. If your doctor husband says "impossible", ignore him. Wow, I bet medical interpreting was tough… Richard said nowadays they mostly use a phone service for interpreting. Additionally we have no family nearby for me to rely on for help or just to combat loneliness. But his absence in the spiritual side of my life, and that of my mother, was very hard.
She's a shell of her former self and it breaks by heart to this day. If he's too tired from work to go to a party that we both wanted to go to, then I'm cool with staying in since I just enjoy his company and am happy to finally be seeing him. It takes an incredible amount of self discipline to first find and then be able to maintain a balance between life and medicine. That contributes to status in her culture.
Vh65, your marriage is a black swan. The church will be in your bedroom, finances, and all your decisions. If she was anything like me, that idea is probably foreign, radical, confusing, interesting, and inspiring to her. Why shouldn't both people be responsible for making it work. And he needs to trust his instincts if he thinks she's being dishonest. It really has been helpful.